YOU ARE BEING USED - SJ

  YOU ARE BEING USED IF... 

This is a great topic by SJ on rumble video streaming platform where he shared a lot of things that will happen when you're being used by your friends, your circle or your relationships

But here are some that I like to add to the video topic : 

1. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something

2. They contact you solely when they require a favour, emotional support, or resources, disappearing once their needs are met. 

3. Conversations Are One-Sided
   They dominate discussions, focusing on their issues without showing genuine interest in your life.

4. They Borrow Money Without Repayment
   Repeatedly asking for financial help without intentions to repay is a red flag. 

5. Affection Is Conditional
   Their kindness or affection surfaces only when they want something from you. 

6. They Make You Feel Guilty for Saying No
   Using guilt to manipulate you into compliance indicates emotional exploitation. 

7. They Disregard Your Boundaries
   Consistently ignoring or violating your personal boundaries shows a lack of respect. 

8. They Rarely Show Appreciation
   A lack of gratitude for your efforts suggests they take you for granted. 

9. They Avoid Commitment Talks
   In romantic contexts, dodging discussions about the future may indicate they're keeping options open. 

10. They Only Appear During Your Highs
    They're present during your successes but absent during challenging times. 

11. They Use Emotional Manipulation Tactics
    Employing strategies like gaslighting or passive-aggression to control you is a sign of manipulation. 

12. They Keep Score
    Constantly reminding you of favors they've done to leverage future requests indicates transactional behavior. 

13. They Make Empty Promises
    Frequently failing to follow through on commitments undermines trust. 

14. They Prioritize Others Over You
    Consistently placing others' needs above yours suggests you're not a priority. 

15. They Drain Your Energy
    Interactions leave you feeling exhausted rather than uplifted. 

16. They Exploit Your Kindness
    Taking advantage of your generosity without reciprocation is exploitative.

17. They Avoid Introducing You to Their Circle
    Keeping you away from friends or family may indicate they're hiding the relationship. 

18. They Lie Frequently
    Habitual dishonesty erodes trust and suggests ulterior motives. 

19. They Make You Feel Unworthy
    Undermining your self-esteem to maintain control is a manipulation tactic.

20. They Show Up Only When Convenient
    Their involvement in your life is based on their schedule and needs. 

21. They Dismiss Your Feelings
    Invalidating your emotions or experiences indicates a lack of empathy. 

22. They Use You for Personal Gain
    Leveraging your resources, connections, or status without reciprocation is exploitative. 

23. Your Intuition Signals Something's Off
    Trusting your gut feeling is crucial; persistent discomfort may indicate you're being used. 

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🛡️ What to Do If You Suspect You're Being Used 

• Set Clear Boundaries: Communicate your limits and stick to them.

• Prioritise Self-Care: Focus on activities and relationships that nourish you.

• Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a mental health professional.

• Evaluate the Relationship: Assess whether the relationship is reciprocal and healthy.

• Consider Moving On: If the pattern persists, it may be best to distance yourself.

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How To set firm boundaries and move on from parasitic (toxic) relationships 

1. Feel It, Then Face It

First, give yourself permission to admit how the relationship makes you feel—maybe drained, unheard, or frustrated. That feeling is your signal. Acknowledging it isn’t weak—it’s wise.

2. Clarify Your Non‑Negotiables

Think about what matters most to you. Is it respect, space, emotional safety? Decide, “This is what I need,” and know you deserve it. Saying “no” isn’t rude—it’s being honest with yourself.

3. Talk Like a Grown-Up

When you speak up, keep it simple and kind:

• “When you cancel plans last-minute, I feel disrespected.”

• “I need some space before I can help again.”

Keep your tone calm—not confrontational. That’s assertive, not aggressive.

4. Stick to Your Word

Boundaries only work if you enforce them. If something crosses the line, you follow through—no guilt trips, no second guessing.

5. Step Back Gradually

If someone keeps ignoring your limits, start pulling away. Mute them, avoid plans, rescue your own energy. Sometimes, going “no contact” is your self-respect in action.

6. Do Kind Things for Yourself

Fill your time with people and activities that make you feel good. Journal, walk, binge comedies, meditate—whatever reconnects you with YOU.

7. Let Yourself Feel the Loss

Even toxic relationships come with a strange mix of relief and grief. Cry, vent, or journal—this is real grief over real investment. That’s okay.

8. Learn & Grow

When a similar situation pops up, you’ll spot trouble sooner. You’re wiser now. Carry that with you.

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Why This Matters

• It’s not selfish—it’s sustainable. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

• It leads to healthier connections. When you respect yourself, others learn to respect you too.

• You grow in confidence. Every “I stand my ground” builds inner strength.

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In Everyday Words

“Hey, I care about us, but it’s draining when I feel used. I need to put some limits—like not lending money or fixing things for you all the time. I’m here for you, but I also need time and energy for myself. I hope you understand.”

That kind of honest, caring-but-firm voice honors both you and the other person.

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Tips to Keep It Real

• Use “I feel…” statements, not accusations.

• Speak gently, but don’t back down.

• Stay consistent—that’s where real change happens.

• Lean on people who lift you up.

• Forgive yourself if you stumble—boundaries are a journey.

You can go check out the video on rumble using this link :    

https://rumble.com/v6utzzz-you-are-being-used-if.html?e9s=src_v1_ucp_a 

 Follow SJ if you find the video interesting

Always checkout some other videos on the channel to learn more 

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Thanks.